...for Dummies

Life Lessons

You can't make wine-flavored chocolate by melting chocolate chips soaked in red wine. 

It looks like shit and tastes like nothing.

I might make it again.

Bounce, Bounce, Bounce, Bounce...

I hate myself for finding this adorable:

But seriously,  who leaves the "Murder, She Wrote" reference out?

Can I get a toot, toot? Beep,  beep?

Damn it, Billie...

...you burned my tilapia. 

I forgive you.

Hardboiled and Loaded with Sin

"I kissed her. Her eyes were shining up at me like two blue stars. It was like being in church."

-James M. Cain, The Postman Always Rings Twice